owl & crow

stephanie anderson ladd

Maiden, Mother, Crone

…three aspects of the triple goddess, which every female knows on a deep, soul level no matter what her age or stage of life. Sure, the maiden–or Kore–could be said to be the personification of innocence and couldn’t possibly know what it means to be a mother and an old woman, but yet, every maiden shows glimpses of these future stages. She’s the mother when she cuddles kittens and babysits and learns to nurture her bff through every drama and crisis they come to share. She’s the crone, or wise woman within when she offers sage advise or surprises her own mother by offering words of wisdom that you think she couldn’t possibly know. I remember when I was holding my baby girl, Chloe, and crying because I had just learned I had thyroid cancer and she put her hand on my face and looked into my eyes and said, “It’s gonna be okay, Mommy.” I remember blinking and looking at her and thinking, “Oh, my God, a wise woman just spoke to me,” and I knew I was face to face with a deep soul who would have as much to teach me as I would her. Her words definitely brought me around and I felt like God had spoken through her and I relaxed, knowing she was right. It was going to be okay. I just had to trust.

The maiden is not far from us even when we become mothers and crones. We can still recall the dreaminess, the giddiness, the je-ne-sais-quoi of that time of life, and we can even channel the maiden when dancing, dreaming, and playing. As mothers, we move into the active, nurturing stage of life, juggling schedules and kids, husbands, work, and projects; a time when our energy is truly at its peak and we can stand in the middle and look back at the maidens we once were and sigh (both sad and glad to be through it) and look ahead to the future of empty nests and the crowning of the crone–time to ourselves, time to Be More, Do Less. The crone years, usually sometime after 50, has the true gift of overview and begins to care less and less about outer world concerns and what people will think and how they will be perceived. She will often speak her mind because she knows and because she doesn’t give a damn. She’s been there, done that. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly but at the same time she has all the patience in the world because she can leave grandbabies with their mothers after spoiling them rotten, turn inward and find solace in her own company, and she can go home (to herself and perhaps to the old man or woman she’s shared her life with). She truly has the vision of past, present and future and standing at the crossroads like Hecate, can point the way if you just turn to her and ask for guidance. She knows the way.

I have to admit, I’m in a funny in-between place, like many of my friends who had babies late in life–half mother/half crone. One foot in the active Doing stage and one foot in the contemplative Being stage. It’s kind of an interesting place to be, a little like a balancing act, a little schizophrenic at times, occasionally dizzying as you dig deep into the underworld of the unconscious where Hecate reigns and navigate the world above, sowing seeds and reaping harvests like Demeter, a personification of Mother Earth, herself. But wait, what of Persephone, Demeter’s daughter, who was abducted from her mother and taken into the underworld where she became queen? With Hecate’s help (she with the gift of overview), Demeter found Persephone and her daughter was returned to her for half the year and would spend the other half in the underworld with Hades, the dark god who presides there (with Hecate as her guardian). In that way, Persephone became the mediator between the upper and the lower, the darkness and the light. It is her mediation that brings an end to the dualistic way of seeing the world. The triple goddess reminds us of that oneness–that multi-facted jewel that we are.

I have been exploring the triple goddess and playing with the three aspects in my writing and art for some time now, and in March I will be leading two workshops at the wonderfully exciting 3-day spring retreat, Persephone Rising, at Buzzard’s Bay on Cape Cod. The retreat will be held at a wonderful, old farmhouse near the water and a nature preserve, where we will celebrate the muses of art, nature and the goddess in each of us. In one of my workshops I will be taking participants on three guided journeys to meet their inner maiden, mother and crone and to receive gifts from them. This will conclude with a nature treasure hunt. Then, in the second workshop, we will be honoring one of the three goddesses by creating a shrine or altar and a goddess effigy or doll with found objects from nature, paint, and collage. There will be other workshops to choose from that will include writing and art and singing and dancing our wild selves–a true experience of mind, body and soul. Take a look at the wonderful classes planned and join us, as like Persephone, we celebrate the rites of spring in true goddess fashion–diving deep within and carrying our found wisdom out into the world in sacred ritual, celebration, and play!

Shrine to the Crone/Hecate

Inside view of Crone/Triple Goddess Shrine


About The Author

Stephanie
I am in a stage of new beginnings, of starting over on the other side of the continent from California, where I spent 38 years of my life. Moving to North Carolina was a bit of a shock to my system. Not so much culture shock but the shock of transplanting myself and starting over as a therapist, artist, and wild woman. I had to figure out how I was going to do it differently than I had been doing it. Because I knew I needed to change the way I worked outwardly to match the way I was feeling and moving inwardly and make it more playful, and at the same time, deep and meaningful. I knew I wanted to work with women primarily, to help them find their way on the heroine's journey to wholeness. I knew I wanted to bring more creative expression to my work because that was what was working for me--a way to bypass all the analytical thinking, perfectionism, and psychological paradigms largely created by men, and find more more intuitive ways of Being, Creating and Flowing with Life, in keeping with the Divine Feminine. I like working with the triple goddess: maiden, mother and crone, which describes the three stages of life as well as inner states of being--the innocent/adventurer; the nurturer and active doer; and the wise being who has the advantage of overview and doesn't care as much what others think of her as long as she is being true to herself. The triple goddess is found in most all cultures and traditions and helps us move out of dualistic thinking patterns and find our way to a more integrated and balanced way of life. As I forge a new path, I want to connect with women all over the world, to help women own their power, and to both explore and offer tools for self-discovery and self-care. Creating my interactive e-book, "In the Lap of the Goddess: Connecting With the Divine Feminine," and my Goddess Temple e-courses based on the workbook are my offerings, a way to share with women the knowledge and wisdom we all hold within us, reflected in the goddess throughout history, across time, and in every corner of the world.

Comments

11 Responses to “Maiden, Mother, Crone”

  1. i love not being the one to have to write the goddess story and just enjoy it, as i always do yours — thanks, stephanie!

  2. Stephanie says:

    Thanks, Patricia. My hope is that women will think about which part of their life they are in and realize that at the same time they are living one stage or aspect they can tap into the other aspects. I think it is important and necessary to access these other parts so we feel more alive and in touch with our inner knowing and being and don’t get stagnant.

  3. Pati Maez says:

    Your ADMISSION of BEING “in a funny in-between place…One foot in the active Doing stage and one foot in the contemplative Being stage. It’s kind of an interesting place to be, a little like a balancing act, a little schizophrenic at times, occasionally dizzying as you dig deep into the underworld of the unconscious…” gives PERMISSION for others to be there also. I CELEBRATE you and I always LOVE “dancing, dreaming, and playing” with you. JOY to the world!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Thank you, Pati! I miss dancing and dreaming and playing with my mountain sistahs. I gotta get back there–I’m hoping to this summer.

  5. pixie says:

    This piece, to me, is about trust. It’s about embracing all of these aspects in ourselves, no matter what age or stage we’re at. It’s about the comfort this brings. It’s guidance from the ancient teachings. It’s reminding me to look outside of myself to see better what’s within me. What my possibilities are.
    Thank you for your gifts, sister.
    xo pixie

  6. Stephanie says:

    Thank you, yes, Trust. That we’re where we’re supposed to be all the time. Love you!

  7. dee says:

    Stephanie — wonderful reflective and instructive post.

    I share that ‘inbetween’ having had my two sons at 37 and 39… sts. I can’t believe it when I compare my life to my mother (who bore children in her 20′s) — at my age (almost 53), for instance, she was a widow with 2 kids through college, one almost done. She was about to ‘retire’ (with two pensions and a new husband) to FL, where she would play bridge and tennis… I have a middle schooler and a sophomore… retirement nowhere in sight (course paying work isn’t really in sight either). I want that quiet time, and grab some, but there is also the hustle and bustle!

    your post prompts me to sit with Persephone some this morning — I have never thought of her as a mediator, b/c she seems too much the victim to me.

  8. Stephanie says:

    Hi, Dee. Thanks for your comment. I love it when I hear from someone who relates to what I’m going through. That’s what’s so great about blogging — connecting with women who share many of the same dreams and struggles that we wouldn’t know about unless we shouted it or whispered it, as it were, into the blogosphere. You’re right, it’s easy to see Persephone as a victim. I wrote about her on an early blog and how her story relates to adolescent girls’ coming of age. Even there, the idea of her being abducted, raped, and taken by Hades to the underworld is pretty horrible, but when you look at it from a different perspective as metaphor, it seems to describe the necessary initiation into both worldliness and the realm of the deeper unconscious that all maidens must undergo in some form or another. And only then does she find her power and is able to act as mediator between the two worlds. Yes, our mothers certainly led different lives than us. At least there are a lot more of us older moms now who can explore this new territory together.
    I love your fiber art and the script quilting you’re doing as well as your SoulCollage. The doll is cool. I’m starting to play around with “soul Dolls” and nature/goddess effigies. I’m not much good with needle and thread, but I’m going to play around.

  9. aimee says:

    hi, stephanie – your words and art are nourishing and so thought provoking. i found you via izzy and nearly flipped with delight when i saw my world on your sidebar. great to meet you!

  10. Izzy says:

    ahhh, see i’m a connector of people aren’t i aimee… =)

  11. dee says:

    just read your thoughtful response, Stephanie (almost a month later!) thanks for looking at my work, and have fun with soul dolls… i’ve also considered starting a series of ‘shadow dolls’ — not unlike SoulCollage’s opening to all aspects of self.

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